When I got to the farm last week, my guy Bobo was waiting for me with one of those stories that can make a grown man laugh like a generator that is running out of fuel.
He said, “Chairman, yesterday something happened o!” I adjusted myself and told him to continue.
According to him, he was returning from his rice farm when he stumbled upon a herdsman whose cattle were busy turning somebody’s potato farm into a buffet restaurant.
Bobo said immediately he saw the damage, his blood pressure rose faster than fertilizer prices. The herdsman was holding a cutlass and one small dagger.
Now, anybody who grew up in the village knows the first rule of village wrestling: Before you fight, remove all the accessories.
So my friend first disarmed the man, Cutlass collected, Dagger collected, and Confidence activated.
Then Round One began. Bobo said he delivered agricultural extension services directly to the man’s body.
By the time he finished, he dusted his hands and started heading home, feeling like the hero of the community.
But then… He heard footsteps behind him.
Tap… tap… tap… He turned around.
The herdsman was following him, not running, not shouting.
Just following him quietly like a subscription service that refused to cancel.
My guy got angry. “Didn’t I finish this matter already?”
He turned back and launched Round Two.
Another serious beating, another victory, another heroic departure.
Five minutes later…
Tap… tap… tap…
The footsteps returned. He looked back again. The same herdsman was still following him. At this point, Bobo became confused.
“Is this man a human being or a government project that never ends?”
He increased his speed. The herdsman increased his speed. He slowed down. The herdsman slowed down.
The man wasn’t fighting, He wasn’t talking, He was just following him with determination.
My friend said that was the moment he realized something important: Some battles are won with fists. Others are won with legs.
Without any further consultation, Bobo activated turbo mode and disappeared. He ran all the way home.
This morning, when he was narrating the story, I laughed until tears came to my eyes.
I asked him, “So after beating the man twice, you still ran away?”
He replied with the wisdom of our ancestors:
“My brother, he who fights and runs away, lives to fight another day. I beat him, yes.
But when I discovered he was more stubborn than my network provider, I decided to preserve my future.”
Till today, I still don’t know who won that fight. The man collected the beating. But my friend collected the race.
One thing is certain: That herdsman has the strongest software update I have ever seen in my life.
Umaru Ezekiel Esude
