We want our lives to reflect our deepest values.
We know the harmful impacts of some of our choices. We fully acknowledge the benefits of certain actions, and yet we struggle.
We struggle to make new choices and to maintain the ethical habits we’ve developed.
While it’s important that we continue striving to narrow the gap between our values and our actions, it’s also important that we give ourselves the time and tools to be ready to embrace those changes, rather than to accept them grudgingly and then feel as if we’re being deprived.
Whatever ethical areas of our lives we’re struggling with, there’s a lot we can do to make progress. Here are just 4 tips:
1. Focus on taking tiny steps.
In his book, One Small Step Can Change Your Life, Robert Maurer talks about how we can use the strategy of kaizen to “trick” the “fight or flight” part of our brain that often trips us up. “Small, easily achievable goals … let you tiptoe right past the amygdala, keeping it asleep and unable to set off alarm bells. … Soon your resistance to change begins to weaken.”
And, he adds, if we frame that small step in the form of a question, that can help our brain be excited, curious, and creative about it.
2. Surround ourselves with success and support.
Making changes in our lives can be especially challenging if we’re alone. But we can surround ourselves with success stories of people engaging in the actions we want to take, so that we’re inspired, and so that we remember that there are others on this path.
Additionally, having loved ones support our efforts can give us an extra boost of confidence and determination when we’re struggling.
3. Keep learning about the issue.
When we learn about a new issue — such as the destructive impact of palm oil or child slavery or animal cruelty — our motivation level can catalyze an initial wave of change. We eagerly read labels or engage in action or create a new habit.
And then time passes, and the demands of daily life and inconvenience of operating counter to mainstream culture hampers the enthusiasm we once had. Continuing that change becomes a struggle.
One strategy for maintaining our motivation is to continue to learn about the issue — especially the reason behind our wanting to make the change.
If we remind ourselves about the realities of child slavery, for example, by regularly reading articles or watching videos or getting involved with an organization, it reinforces our commitment, and our passion to do the most good and least harm is much less likely to wane.
4. Make it easier to make the change.
We can set ourselves up for success by establishing systems and creating triggers that help us make those ethical choices that resonate with us.
For example, if I want to eat fewer animal products, I can stock my fridge and pantry with plant-based choices, take a cooking class to learn how to make tasty dishes that fit my busy schedule, and make batch meals that I can eat throughout the week. If I want to reduce my use of disposable plastics, I can search for alternative ideas and slowly accumulate plastic-free products.
We humans often don’t like change.
But if we create an environment and strategies that help nurture and support changes that more accurately reflect our values, we may find that all those struggles can be transformed into delightful and liberating opportunities and greater and greater successes.
