Florence Uwaeme
Nigerians always have a way of finding humour even in unlikely situations. This we do most times to ease our daily struggle and keep pushing on.
The first day of February commenced with the ban of motorbikes aka Okada in Lagos state by the Lagos state government. People in Lagos have lamented the level of suffering that they have encountered by too much trekking.
Today being the first workday in Lagos without motorcycle or Okada, it definitely will not be a good experience for the first day at work.
However, Nigerians being unique in their humorous outlook to life have taken to their social media handles to offer rather hilarious solutions to their predicament.
Although the residents of Port Harcourt have long started their own trek since last year due to the construction of the three flyovers at different parts of the state capital at the same time, they are yet to get used to it. Can one get used to trekking really? This must have been the season of trekking in Nigeria.
Here are the simple steps to surviving this trekking season as given by a Twitter user.
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Step 1: Trek for a while
This trekking should not exceed 20 minutes maximum. Makes you interacting with fellow trekkers while on your way. This is to ensure that you won’t be abandoned while carrying out Step two.
Step 2: When you feel tired faint (fake) by a major roadside
There is an emphasis on the major road. We are choosing this for you because that is the closest you’ll get to being rescued by an ambulance. Please to avoid dirtying your clothing, you can wear a double shirt and trouser so that you can pull one after the show. Lol.
Step 3: That their useless ambulance will come for you
Make sure you maintain a dead-like stance on the ground. Be as still as you can be. Just pray they don’t introduce water pouring technique to wake you up because this will definitely ruin your layers of clothing and who knows the type of water that could be handy.
Step 4: After the ambulance starts driving, wake up and give the ambulance driver your office address
This is the deadliest part of this game. With the average Lagos driver being notorious for violence, pray you meet a quiet and empathetic driver. Because if you meet the regular Lagos driver, you are as good as dead.
Step 5: Ask the driver to put on the A/C, sit up and comfortably enjoy your free ride.
Depending on your survival with step 5, this is the time to remove your outer clothing which by this time will be cleaner than a Mama-put’s rag. And you definitely wouldn’t want your co-workers seeing you like that.
Step 6: Repeat on Tuesday and every other day till they lift Okada ban
It is that simple. Don’t say we did nothing for you during your trekking exercise dear Lagosians. You’re welcome.
