Austin Tam-George, a former commissioner in Rivers State has taken to Facebook to mock his former boss.
Tam-George resigned as governor Nyesom Wike’s commissioner for information during his first tenure, citing lack of policies and vision that will impact the people are the reason.
In his criticism of his former boss, Tam-George presented a discussion between Wike and God where God was questioning him about his stewardship in the past four years, especially in the areas of security, his silence over the explosion in Kom Kom, Oyigbo Local Government Area which killed at least 70 persons.
GOVERNOR: Rivers State is a Christian State. 100% Christian State. I make no apologies for that!
JESUS CHRIST: What does that mean, son? That’s divisive and diversionary nonsense. I love everyone. Don’t call my name in vain.
GOVERNOR: But, Lord, I donate large sums of money to churches every Sunday, I have the clergy on speed dial and I spent billions of Naira to build a majestic ecumenical centre in Port Harcourt. It was built by the Germans, no less!
CHRIST: I know all these, son, and it breaks my heart into a million pieces. I live in the hearts of men, not in ecumenical centres built by hand. In any case, there are nearly 5,000 churches in Rivers State. So why build an expensive ecumenical centre with public funds?
GOVERNOR: Well, my Lord, there had been some confusion in the body of Christ in the State due to doctrinal and denominational differences. So I wanted the ecumenical centre to unify the clergy.
CHRIST: No, no, no. There can be no confusion among those who genuinely worship God. Do you really believe that an unclean heart can be made whole simply by building an ecumenical centre? Is that why you organize endless “thanksgiving services” after those bloody elections in Rivers State? I judge people by the purity of their thoughts and actions, not by the majesty of their temples.
CHRIST: Speaking of actions, why haven’t you been to Kom kom?
GOVERNOR: My Lord, where is that? It sounds like a place in South Korea.
CHRIST: Oh, I see! Kom Kom is a community in Oyigbo Local government Area in Rivers State. There was a pipeline explosion there two weeks ago, with dozens of people burnt alive. As the governor, you haven’t set foot there. Not a word of sympathy, No relief materials sent! Their misery and cries have reached me. Is that how you run your so-called Christian State?
GOVERNOR: I’m sorry, Lord Jesus. The people of that Local government voted for the opposition in the last elections. They embarrassed me. They are a disloyal, enemy territory!
CHRIST: But you’re supposed to be governor for all. You swore an oath to protect everyone! You should be the Comforter-in-chief in times of grief and sorrow! I’m extremely sad and disappointed.
GOVERNOR: That’s true, Lord. But those Oyigbo people…
CHRIST: (Cuts in) I command you to go to Oyigbo to offer comfort and relief to the grieving families and communities there.
GOVERNOR; (inaudible, but grudging acquiescence).
CHRIST: Now, according to a recent report by the National Bureau of Statistics (NBS), Rivers State has the highest unemployment rate in Nigeria and the highest misery index in the country. This is the terrible situation under your watch. What do you want to do about this?
GOVERNOR: We’re working hard at it, Lord. In the past four years, we’ve assembled the best prayer warriors to pray against the spirit of unemployment in the State. We are also building a Real Madrid Football Academy. When we have more footballers, there will be a decline in unemployment.
CHRIST: You’re building a Real Madrid football academy to tackle unemployment? That’s ridiculous. So what should the people expect in your second term? Gold-plated Juventus toilet seats in every home? The NBS says 4 out of 10 people in Rivers State have no jobs.
GOVERNOR: My Lord, I’m not a fan of Juventus. Politically, the high poverty and unemployment rates in the State may be good news. It makes it easier to mobilize poor and jobless people to back my agenda. Some say I’m pursuing a policy of mass pauperization.
But In my second term, I want to focus on sanitation. In my meeting with the European Union three weeks ago in Abuja, I sought their help in that regard.
CHRIST: What! You want the 29 countries of the EU to clean up Port Harcourt for you? What about the sanitation agency that has the responsibility to keep the city clean?
GOVERNOR: Oh, my God! That’s a nightmare. I’ve already publicly admitted the failure of that agency. We spent billions of Naira on sanitation in four years. Yet nothing to show for it, except piles of dirt in every corner of Port Harcourt. But I’ve made up my mind. We need the EU, we need all of Europe to help clean our mess in Port Harcourt.
CHRIST: This is astonishing. Now, there are over 500 students on Rivers State government scholarship abandoned all over Europe for four years, by your government. Rivers State medical students in Ukraine, London and the Caribbean are now security guards because you refused to pay their fees. For the first time in the history of the State, no bursaries have been paid to students. And yet you spend tens of billions of Naira on a failed sanitation agency? What’s going on?
GOVERNOR: I know. It’s a complex problem, my Lord. So I do all I can to divert the people’s attention from these things.
CHRIST: But you’re actually creating more problems for the State. Poor education, joblessness and pervasive poverty have created a unique security crisis in the State. How long do you want to continue on this path?
GOVERNOR: My Lord, I’ve found a creative solution to save my neck. I now blame traditional rulers for kidnapping, rape, and cult clashes in the State. I threaten to dethrone them wherever these things happen. I put the rest of the blame on President Buhari. I use the media endlessly to drive this narrative. It’s a political strategy to cover up.
CHRIST: So as the governor, you get billions of Naira under security votes each month. But threaten innocent traditional rulers wherever there is kidnapping or any form of criminality in the State?
GOVERNOR: Yes, my Lord. And then I hold a press briefing to sound tough.
GOVERNOR: So as I was saying, my Lord, I now blame innocent traditional rulers for kidnapping, rape and all manner of crimes in Rivers State. I blackmail, intimidate and threaten them with dethronement. This has never happened in Rivers State, but I’m prepared to take my chances.
CHRIST: But can’t you see the foolishness of your ways?
There’s an explosion of crime in nearly every local government in the State. If you keep dethroning innocent traditional rulers, soon you’d have not a single one left to remove. What would you do then?
GOVERNOR: No, no, my Lord. As in all things I do, I must be guided by tribal sentiments. I may threaten and dethrone some traditional leaders, but not others! It’s called divide and rule. Look at the almost daily robberies, carnage and killings all over the State, I just look away or blame others!
I often say security is a federal responsibility, but what people don’t know is that each month Rivers State has billions of Naira in the security vote, which I don’t have to account for.
I just buy a few batons, whistles and vehicles for the security services and that’s it!
To deceive the public, I plan to hold an elaborate security confab soon, the whole world will be invited to attend. The media will televise it live! But it will be for propaganda purposes only. In the end, nothing will come of it.
I will engineer the forthcoming security confab to strongly recommend and endorse the ill-fated Neighbourhood Watch as our own “State Police”.
I desperately need to revive the Neighbourhood watch. If I succeed, Rivers State may be in the grip of the darkest blood cult since it’s creation.
CHRIST: This is a satanic plot against Rivers State itself.
I command you to use the billions of Naira in the security vote to invest in education, skills training and entrepreneurial support for our young people. That is the only guarantee for a secure and prosperous Rivers State.
GOVERNOR: (Mumbles, grumbles and more grumbles)
CHRIST: Now tell me, why have you not paid gratuities and pensions to retired citizens in Rivers State, since 2015?
Pensioners are dying by the day. Don’t you have a conscience? What exactly is your plan?
GOVERNOR: I’m sorry, Lord. But keeping the people desperately poor and vulnerable is a core policy of my administration.
To continue to deceive the pensioners, I will conduct 10 more dubious biometric exercises in my second term. As the pensioners suffer and face certain death, I will conduct more “thanksgiving services’ to celebrate my victory in the elections! Hallelujah!
This is a Christian State, no apologies! If pensioners starve to death, that’s their destiny.
CHRIST: I’m beyond shocked. You use Christianity to deceive the people, while actually driving a Luciferian agenda?
GOVERNOR: That’s correct My Lord!
CHRIST: I hereby command you to do the right thing and pay ALL pensioners their entitlements immediately. End their suffering now!
GOVERNOR: ( Appears pensive. Muttering to himself)
CHRIST: Now, for over 30 years Rivers State had demonstration secondary and primary schools run by tertiary institutions.
These schools were part of the building blocks of human capital development in the State for three decades.
But for four years, you have refused to pay salaries to nearly 1000 teachers in these schools.
As a result, over 20,000 students have dropped out of these demonstration schools! The schools are shut, and their teachers now beg for food!
You want to destroy Rivers State? What exactly is wrong?
GOVERNOR: My Lord, I know that was a disastrous decision on my part. The teachers took the matter to the Industrial Court in Owerri, and they won a judgement against my government. I am now on appeal.
But there’s something about me, Lord Jesus: I prefer to be wrong and stupid, to being seen as weak.
So this case will continue in court, the schools will remain closed, and the teachers will not be paid till I leave office. I hear some of the teachers have died from hardship. So be it!
