Melinda
Congratulations!!! you are engaged to the man or woman of your dreams but what next?
The next question would be, when is the big day? Trust me its not as serious as people make it sound like, its very important you have a budget in mind. Here is the right time to note,[perfectpullquote align=”right” bordertop=”false” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””] PLEASE DO NOT PLAN ON OTHER PEOPLE’S MONEY,[/perfectpullquote].
Dont get me wrong but, what if , the money doesnt come when you need it? To avoid unnecessary hypertension as the day approaches, make do with what you have.
Having established that fact, you would want to decide with your spouse, what is necessary, simply put, what is a need!! and what is a want!!. I have seen people spend money on food, clothes, makeup, etc( don’t get me wrong, its a once in a lifetime event , you should look your best, but there’s life after marriage) and forgot to sort out the bride-price requirements. My darling, you cannot please everybody , that’s why weddings are done every Saturday.
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In a couple of months, nobody would remember the kind of car you used, the big gigantic cake, your 5000 hall capacity and most definitely , the number of cows killed[/perfectpullquote]
Work with a date in mind , confirm from both families and stick to your budget.
First things first.
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If you think love is blind, wait till you start planning a wedding, now its no longer you and him, its you, him and *The Family*( both families)[/perfectpullquote]
You and your spouse should come to an agreement, I talk to my family and you talk to yours!! Qhen there’s a problem from your end, please address it without making your spouse look vulnerable.
Having established that principle, the next question should be, How Much Do We Have?? This Can also be a good time to get both families involved especially , the parents. Get all the advice and help you can get, know the financial implications of the traditional marriage right, the Do’s and Dont’s from both tribes, then we are good to go.
You might be wondering, you’ve not talked about food, my darling! Without fulfilling the necessary marriage rights, you wouldn’t have a wedding ceremony , its called a wedding ceremony not a food ceremony .
Get your Church or mosque involved, this is a good time to start premarital counseling, a minimum of 6 to 3 months before the deal day. Go to the registry , find out all the necessary requirements and meet them on time to avoid last minute rush.
Next step, contact your vendors.
Get your designer, send your fabrics to the designer months before the wedding. It’s safer to have them with you on time than worrying about them a week to the wedding. Also make a finiancial committent and get a friend to follow up on them.( as I mentioned earlier, thats why you need to have your own money, because most times, people dont give you monetary gifts until they get your invitation card so, plan with yours according to your budget.)
Get your venue sorted out( if its a hall, open space etc , its important you make a financial commitment , to avoid getting last minute disappointments after the invitations cards would have gone out.
Photographer- you definitely need pictures.
Event decorator. Be sure to see his prevous decors before you comit yours to him. Show the decor, the preferred design, just to avoid disappointments
D.J/ M.C of your choice, be sure to give them the dos and donts
Media outlet for printing wedding programs, sourvirners, books,etc
Get your wedding accessories, and please as you get them, put them in a bag, somewhere not just anybody can assess them.
Get your briadsmaid involved. Order for their dresses or you make them. Which ever way you prefer, but when you do initate the process please , hand it over to one of the bridesmaid to follow up on it, you do not want that kind of stress.
Let both families decide on what they are going to wear on both days, especially the fabrics both parents would use. If possible, get them the same day, you are getting yours( if the money is available).
Food and drinks Vendor!!! This part is where most people have issues. My advise would be! make the food together and divide into three, with three representatives, with a 60 :20:20 percentage.
Here’s the reason! You do not want to hears stuff like “the brides family didn’t get food” or “the grooms family didnt get water”
Here’s the deal! 60% goes to the venue, with a couple of friends in charge. ( please its safe not to put family members in charge, for equality sake) the other 20% left for both families can be given to a representative of both families to share to whosoever they decide to.
Since we are working without a wedding planner, 2-3 months before your wedding is a good time to start sharing your invitation cards, snap pre -wedding photo(not required.
A month to your wedding , you should be done with counseling, you should have your outfits ready, or almost ready, your venue sorted out, list of officiating misters ,you should have initiated your 21 days court notification, made payments for food and drinks, cake vendor, you should have your wedding programs ready, gift items. My darling, [perfectpullquote align=”right” bordertop=”false” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]
It is also important to have a pen and a note pad , for writing down task and targets for the week[/perfectpullquote].
Confirm your hotel reservation, for your honey-moon, guests( bridesmaid, grooms men, friends coming from outta town). If possible, get a separate hotel your yourself a day to the wedding if you do not intend to stay in your family home the night before. It is not a big deal , but , you need all the rest you can get, you don’t want to look stressed on your wedding day!!!! no way. So get a few friends, one or two to a different hotel, just to limit your distractions,
Congratulations!! We are finally here##happy day.
Always remember to smile, don’t get angry, its all because of you, smile, relax, and enjoy the day.
