Arranged marriages in our society are a long and complicated procedure. Your decision to tie the knot with someone is based on how much the families like each other, to what extent the horoscopes match, how much the prospective groom or bride earns, and in some fortunate cases, the would-be bride and groom’s opinion on their choices too are considered. My parents were looking for a match for me for two years and due to the above said ‘formalities’, I was yet to meet my Mr. Perfect. Destiny had a plan for me and I was waiting to see it unfold…
Finally, the search ended…
My father was approached by a family and surprisingly, everything seemed perfect. Our family priest predicted we would make a great couple, the families bonded like they knew each other for years and the guy was well-educated. I met him twice before marriage and he seemed like a decent yet introvert person. While I talked about my aspirations from this conjugal bond, he clarified he had no expectations and would like to go with the flow. We tied the knot after two months and my life took a different turn.
The first week of this new life
I was so occupied with my wedding preparations (finalising the perfect outfit, venue and make-up artist demands hard work!) that we never got the time to know each other, and after our wedding, all I wanted to do was to spend some romantic time with my husband. But what I witnessed was something I wished no bride or groom should ever go through in a relationship. All of a sudden, my husband was acting indifferent and talked to me only when he needed something. His family treated me like a daughter-in-law but he chose not to acknowledge my presence at all.
The life ahead
The first week of my married life was the stuff of nightmares. He used to enter the bedroom and doze off even without looking at my face. When I used to ask him what was bothering him, he used to reply, “I am just tired,” without making any eye contact. I had no clue what was wrong with him and had no one with whom I can share this unusual problem.
The confession
I clearly remember, it was the first-month anniversary of our wedding and my in-laws had forcefully sent us for a dinner. They sensed something was wrong between us from my swollen eyes and his weird behaviour. We had got an opportunity to be alone, and I decided I could no longer take this trauma. The moment we sat in the car, I broke down and asked him what have I done wrong! I was crying so fervently that I found it difficult to breathe, and I saw an expression of regret on his face. Watching me sob helplessly, he confessed, “I was in love with someone else and my parents forced me to get married to you. I am sorry. I really am!”
What we did next…
My world had come crashing down and I felt cheated. I didn’t know if I return to my parent’s house or complain to my in-laws?. How would I deal with my nagging relatives? How would my parents react? My mind was coming up with new, torturous thoughts every minute and somehow, I mustered the courage to ask him what he thinks we should do next. He held himself guilty for playing with my life and accepted what happened was unfortunate. But to my surprise, he was willing to forget his past and make this relationship work. I could see regret in his eyes and sense honesty in his voice. We decided to give this so-called marriage a chance.
The unexpected happened…
Miracles do not happen overnight, but they do happen. We decided to be friends and kept the relationship of husband and wife on hold for some time. We bonded on our common interests and made conscious efforts to spend quality time together every day. Slowly, he started opening up, and we started sharing the nitty-gritty of our day. Without even realising, we had developed an emotional attachment and craved for each other’s company after a tiring day at work.
Our life today
We have been married for eight months now and the miracle has happened. We are in love and dream of a beautiful future together. I don’t say what happened with me was right anyhow, but that bitter chapter of my life is now over. It took a lot of patience and persistence from both of us and it was not a cakewalk, but things eventually fell into place. We still fight over little things but our past no longer threatens our present.
