Woman says she finds her husband very unattractive that she can’t even look at his face in the bedroom but can’t leave him because of the need for his financial support.
Mrs. Julie Iyali has sparked torrents of criticism after admitting that she has fallen out of love with her husband of 12 years but can’t leave him because she needs his financial support in order to survive.
Mrs. Iyali who featured at the Port-Harcourt city church council family program on Sunday, shocked hundreds of church goers when she said that she can’t bear to so much look at her 57-year-old husband in the bedroom.
The 52-year-old shared her story during the church program in order to then ask the audience for their advice, admitting that love as she knows it in their marriage has died but maintained that she can’t afford to leave him.
‘I just don’t want him to see my sex face anymore because when I look at him I am picturing someone else – I just go through all the artists,’ she said.
‘I find every excuse under the sun not to have sex, I just pretend I am tired. It’s once a month now and when we do do it, I just want to cover up, I don’t want him to look at me because I’ve lost touch with him.
‘I don’t want to make any eye contact anymore… there’s just no love anymore.’
The woman said the love ‘just died down’ over the years and there was no specific issue in the relationship.
There’s no love there and I don’t want to have sex with him anymore
‘I am in a predicament because if I leave I’m not working and I know he won’t support or help the children. I am calling out to ask people what I should do,’ she said.
‘It’s really hard, there’s no love there anymore and I don’t want to have sex with him anymore. I think he thinks I am still into him – he’s not really getting the signs.
‘I know he has said if ever we were to split he wouldn’t support the children because he reckons I am nothing without him.’
Mrs. Iyali also revealed that she ‘winces’ when her husband touches her.
‘Yes that’s right. Everything about him just freaks me out but I can’t just say “go away it’s over” because I know he won’t financially support us anymore,’ she said.
Four panelists were then asked for their opinions on the controversial situation, with the first a little blown away by what she was hearing.
‘How can you say that you don’t love this guy and he disgusts you but you will stay with him just for financial support?’ Ajemina, a single mum, said.
‘We live in Portharcourt , you get so much support here, there are so many opportunities. I am a single mum and my toddler is only 10 months and I make it work.
‘You can’t live with someone who disgusts you, that’s a bit extreme. There’s a million ways you could make it work, trust me. In the long run, what kind of example would you be setting?’
Another woman, Nkechi Uduma , suggested the woman get out of her ‘terrible’ relationship as soon as possible.
‘He has to pay and support the children by law. At the end of the day you are not going to be a destitute. I am a single mum and it is extremely hard. However, all you need is to know where they work and the law will do the rest of the work for you,’ she said.
A member of audience named Tonye, said the whole situation was ‘disrespectful’.
‘Imagine if the bloke turned around and said to her he didn’t want to be with her anymore or was thinking about other women? There are so many jobs out there in the world now, you can go and get a job than doing nothing,’ he said.
The final contributor , Abigail , said she had been in a very similar situation.
‘I actually learned the pillow thing from someone that I was studying with,’ she said.
‘I actually have the utmost respect for you for being so honest in a church, on a program like this . I was unhappy and I actually communicated that and it did get to the stage where I was sleeping on the lounge.
‘I had two young girls, I went to Warri and I got a HSE and I applied for a university. Don’t stay, it will set a bad example for your children. Go for it.’
At the end of the segment it was revealed that 90 per cent of the audience believed the woman should leave her husband.
‘I think I will [leave] it is just a matter of when and how,’ the woman concluded.
‘But I will get there. I’ll get out there as soon as possible.’
