The Diary of a Port Harcourt side chick

“There is nothing wrong with the University of Uyo or the Akwa Ibom State University or any nursing college in Akwa Ibom state. I really don’t understand why you want to study so far from home. Port Harcourt is not what it used to be. Look around you, those who went to other places to study returned empty-handed. We buried one of them just last week, and you know what killed her. You are my only daughter and I don’t want to lose you”.

Three girls from our street came back pushing pregnancies. Do you want to be part of the stats? You can get the very same education from local institutions. That place called Port Harcourt is more dangerous than naked electricity cables. Do you really think I will sleep at night knowing that my daughter is surrounded by drugs, prostitutes and hundreds of nightclubs? How will you study when there is a club every three metres? Nigerians are stealing girls and turning them into prostitutes. No no, no baby girl, you are not going to Port Harcourt and I am not going to argue with you.

The conversation I had with my father a week before I moved to Port Harcourt was echoing in my head. It was my second year in Port Harcourt and I was still doing well at school.

My phone rang and when I noticed it was Stephen, I quickly picked it up. He told me he just found out that his wife of seven years has been sleeping with her colleague for the past three months. What got him worried was the fact that she was pregnant and he wasn’t sure if the baby was his or not.

I had known Steve for quite some time. He was ten years older than I was but we became terrific friends when I moved to Port Harcourt. We came from the same town in Uyo.

He told me how he had been there for his wife when she lost her job. He made sure she had everything most women would only dream of having. To make matters worse, she had not denied the cheating when he confronted her.

I had only met her two or three times. She was one of those thick tall girls from the East, Enugu, I think.

Steve asked if he could come to Nkpolu road to clear his head.

Oh, I forgot to tell you. I stay at Nkpolu at a flat called Ichenwo on Nwali Street. I was a nursing student doing my second year. I looked so sexy in my nursing uniform, a sexy averagely tall girl from Uyo.

I told Steve I was about to study, but he could come over. It took him less than thirty minutes as he stayed in GRA. I asked if I could offer him a drink and he asked if I had whiskey. I laughed because the last time I checked, he didn’t drink. I told him I only had Sweet Rose wine in my fridge and he said I should pour him a glass. I poured myself a glass too.

He told me of his marital problems and how he had never cheated on his wife. The more he drank the more emotional he got. He was standing next to the window and when he turned to look at me, I saw tears flowing on his face like Victoria Falls. I stood up from my bed and gave him a warm hug. It lasted for about two minutes and the next thing I felt something moving on my thigh.

Shit!!…he had a hard-on. I looked at him and he kissed me on the forehead. I wanted to push him but something happened between my legs. It took only two glasses of wine to make me tipsy and horny. Steve kissed me and I kissed back. He took off my t-shirt and pushed me to the bed. I wanted to say no but the wetness down there stole my words. As I was digesting what was going on, he took off my little skirt and quickly took off his clothes. I asked if he had condoms and he said he didn’t carry them because he wasn’t a cheat.

…WTF was he about to do with me?

As he was about to get on top of me to do what men do best, I heard a key turning at the door. I was panicking because I didn’t know who was at the door trying to unlock. My roomie was in Lagos and she was the only person who had a key to our flat. Instead of getting off me, he whispered “I won’t take long. It will take only ten seconds”. No wonder his wife cheated on him. What kind of man cums within ten seconds? I pushed him so hard he almost fell. I looked at the door and noticed my key was still in the keyhole, therefore the person trying to unlock wouldn’t succeed. I gave a sigh of relief. I asked “Who is it” and Jane answered.

I told Steve to get dressed and sit on the bed. I could see his dick was still up and hungry. I quickly got dressed and headed straight to the door to unlock for Jane. When I opened, Jane gave me a hug. It was so awkward because I was still wet and her presence spoiled my fun.

As soon as she got in Steve announced that he was leaving and apologised to Jane — that he was not leaving on her account. As Jane unpacked her bag, I noticed Steve forgot his underwear on the floor. Luckily, it was next to my single bed and Jane didn’t see it. I quickly kicked it under my bed. What kinda man wears those old-fashioned undies in the twenty-first century!

Jane told me she came back early because she had an interview for a call centre job in town. Most Edo girls make good call centre agents because they have beautiful voices. I liked Jane but we were so different. She was twenty-two and I was twenty. She was unlike other Edo chicks I knew. She loved her church more than anything on earth. She didn’t work but contributed ten per cent of her monthly allowance to her church.

She was studying Psychology through a scholarship. I had never heard her talking about boys, not even her baby daddy. She only told me she had a three-year-old son.

My phone beeped and it was a Whatsapp text from my boyfriend Boma. He told me he was coming to drop the #10,000 I asked. Sometimes I didn’t understand Boma. In this age of online banking, he still preferred ‘go and withdraw.’

One thing that bothered me was he didn’t like sex. We only had sex five times since we started dating a few months ago.

He knocked at the door five minutes after Jane left. I opened and after kissing me on the cheek, he got in. I didn’t waste time. I pushed him to the bed before he could start his nerdy talk. Nerd or no nerd, I could feel a tent erecting on his swagger pants and my punani smiled. I undressed him and let him undress me. I slowly kissed his lips and chin while my hand was playing with his softballs. Step by step, my kisses and licking went downwards until I reached his hard cock. Compared to Steve, his dick was a mere cigar but I didn’t complain at that moment because I wanted a dick badly. My mouth was so small but there was no difficulty putting all of it in my mouth. Boma made some sounds like that of a dog barking ‘hawu hawu hawu hawu hawu.’

Then I remembered he was an Okrika boy….you know they love barking. As my lips and tongue were busy playing with his hard cock, I felt a shower of sperms in my mouth. WTF!!! Nigga came inside my mouth. Sperm tastes like a mixture of raw eggs and seawater.

I quickly got off him and ran to the bathroom to wash my mouth. When I got back to the bedroom Boma was still lying on my bed with his eyes closed and smiling ear to ear. What pissed me off was his dick was down and soft. My phone beeped and it was an SMS from Steve. It read: “I hate you, Mayen. You took advantage of me because I have marital problems. You got me drunk so you can sleep with me. I don’t ever want to see you again, SLUT.”

I didn’t know how to react to the SMS. I looked at Boma lying on my bed still smiling. I hated him at that moment. I screamed at him to stop smiling because there was nothing to smile about. My screaming gave him a fright that he fell off the bed. Instead of standing up, he kept lying on the floor like a hungry crocodile. His eyes were glued to something under the bed. He slowly stood up and had something red in his hand.

Shit, I was busted. Steve’s underwear was in his hand and the look on his face was so pregnant. He threw the underwear at me and it hit my nose. It happened so fast but I swear I smelled shit on Steve’s boxers. As soon as he got dressed, he left — without saying goodbye.

My mind went back to Steve. I had to think of ways to punish him. I took my phone and called JT. JT was a lesbian friend of mine. She had been asking me out for months but I turned her down. She stayed in Choba. She was like “What’s up?” I told her I don’t have much airtime and wanted her to drive me to GRA. She went “You know for you I can drive to Aba.” I told her I would wait for her.

I took Steve’s boxers, put it in my bag, and headed straight to the bus stop to wait for JT. She arrived within seven minutes and we headed straight to GRA. The security guards at Steve’s complex knew me well. They opened for us.

JT remained in the car. I didn’t even knock because I wanted to show Steve I was not there to play. I opened the door and walked in like a ninja. Steve was lying on the couch and his wife was on top of him riding as if she’s promised a government tender for feeding schemes. It’s true when they say Men Are Trash. Not long ago he wanted to sleep with me without a condom and there he was fucking his wife.

My sudden presence gave them a fright. Steve pulled some involuntary Spiderman moves as his wife tried to disunite from him. I didn’t waste time with greetings and shit. I took out the boxers from my bag and threw it at Steve and ‘loudly’ whispered: “next time don’t forget your private stuff at my place after good sex.”

The Eastern tall woman turned red immediately. She jumped back at Steve like Rey Mysterio of WWE. She struck him so hard I saw blood coming out of his big nose. He got a chance to escape and ran to his bedroom upstairs.

Steve’s wife walked towards me with the ‘I-wanna-beat-you-up-bitch’ look. She tried to hit me but I ducked and pushed her so hard that she fell on her belly. I was expecting her to stand up so I could finish what I started. I walked towards her to hit her on the head but something caught my eyes, a red stain on her mini skirt. She was bleeding between her legs. At first, I thought she was on periods but remembered she was pregnant.

I ran upstairs calling Steve. He replied: “No, I’m not coming. Leave me alone.” I told him she fell and couldn’t walk. He unlocked the door and ran downstairs. I followed at his pace. Instead of helping her, he ran straight for the door without even looking at her.

I screamed, “Fool, your wife is bleeding from down there.” That stopped him. He immediately walked to her and asked if she was ok. She went “Do I look like I am ok?” You know a person is in pain when they use their native language. Steve asked me to help him carry her to his car. I helped him to carry her to the car and as soon as we put her inside, I told Steve I was leaving.

I remembered my lesbo friend was waiting in the car. It was getting dark and I had schoolwork to do. When I got to JT’s car, she was smoking weed and listening to some ragga song. She could read my face that I wasn’t ok. When she asked what was wrong I cried and told her to drive me home. She didn’t ask many questions and within fifteen minutes we were at Nkpolu.

My phone beeped and it was an SMS from Steve. It read, “I took my wife to the military Hospital. If the baby dies it’s your fault.”

I maintained a cool face because I was not in a mood to explain to JT what happened. When we got to my place, I asked JT to park her car inside our garage because I didn’t want to be alone at that moment. When we got in the garage I asked JT if we could just chill in the car for a few minutes and she said “no stress.”

I told her to half-close the garage door because I didn’t want to hear noise from outside. When she got back in the car I was crying. It was a bit dark in the garage but she could tell by my sobs that I was crying. She wiped my tears with her palm and said: “baby whatever it is, it will pass.” She asked me to get out of the car so she could hold me in her arms to make me feel better. What a ‘gentleman’ she was. She held me in her arms for about five minutes without saying a word. I felt so warm and at peace in her arms.

I softly whispered, “JT, kiss me.” It was as if she was waiting for me to say that. She kissed me softly and passionately and I kissed back. She did something I didn’t expect. She put her hand inside my leggings and fondled my almost excited clitoris. I almost said “Dawg stop it” but it felt so good I shut the fuck up. My punani was getting wet. At that moment, my neighbour, Ijeoma was playing Burna Boy’s On The Low with a low volume in her car. When the refrain part came, she went down and pulled down my leggings. She made me stretch my legs a bit so she could have full access to my pussy. She squeezed my butt with her hands and said: “I will eat you like a box of chocolate.” She was literally on her knees while her head was between my thighs like a piglet on her mom’s breasts.

Her tongue was long and a bit thick. She softly attacked my clitoris and felt excited like a kid receiving a new toy. My body went cold… warm… mild… cold… warm… mild and I almost screamed like those girls on the after-midnight Etv movies. She paused for a moment to catch her breath and I quickly said, “Don’t even think of stopping now… don’t you dare!. Finish what you started.”

It was as if I gave her a Red Bull because she started licking my clitoris like a cat lapping on milk. You know that nice feeling you get when you ‘earbud’ your itchy inner ear? That’s how I felt at that moment. My cake emitted some discharge. My whole body vibrated for about thirty seconds. I don’t know how it happened but I found myself whispering “I love you JT, I love you JT, I love you JT” and she went “Me too.”

After those spasmodic vibrations, JT went up and kissed me like I had never been kissed before. She was the muffing mafia. As I was enjoying the kissing, my phone rang from inside her car and I ignored it. The person called again and JT opened the car door for me to answer my phone. It was my roomie, she forgot her keys inside our room and she wanted me to open for her. JT said, “You can go upstairs I’ll wait for you.” I told her she should leave because I wanted to study. I pulled up my leggings up and opened the garage door for my muffing mafia. With that, we said our goodbyes and I headed to the stairs.