Simon Adaka a.k.a Adah Bros
You see the passengers we have today, we have them in different ways. What I mean is that we have three types of drivers and also three types of passengers.
For example, as a driver, you must have the three basic qualities of being a commercial driver. These qualities are: tolerance, politeness and endurance.
As a driver too, you should know that we have three types of passengers. The three types of passengers are: the problematic personalities, the destructive personalities and the progressive personalities.
Problematic Personalities.
For example, this season comes with a scarcity of passengers. We call it passengers season. When there are more of passengers, we call it drivers season.
If you want to talk about the problematic personalities, when they enter a vehicle or a loading taxi like when a driver is loading and it remains a chance for that driver to finish his loading, you will see most of these girls known as problematic personality come with their britico-Nigerian intonation because they have them in different types.
Now, see: “Oga driver, how many una dy carry for back now”
“How much una dy collect from here to Choba?”
“Hey, this 250 too much o. Abeg now ”
Drive will reply” Sister, na so we dy collect am”
“Ha! But driver, your car is stinking o. What did you carry now?”
Driver will reply: “If you wan enter motor, you enter”
Next thing you will hear is: “Ah!, please, Evelyn, let’s come down. We can’t be in this car. This car is stinking, even the driver is a pig”
Driver replies: “Hey sister, nor insult me o. No be because you see me like this”
But as a driver with experience, you are not supposed to reply them rudely. But whereby you reply them and trouble now comes up, the girl now will rain insults on you:
“Look at you. Article of no commercial value. You beast without accommodation”
The driver will now give them what we call traditional insults: “Yeye girl, Ashawo like you”
At this point, the girl will scream: ” Jesus! What have I done to deserve this. You can’t call me Ashawo like that. My parents are not prostitutes. Why do this to me? Oh God!”
Before you know it, she will start dragging the driver’s clothes and from there, all these dignitaries with expensive vehicles you see driving about will come. They are always emotionally electrocuted when it comes to girls.
They will start to park by the sides and before you know it, a lot of people have come for enquiry.
Before you know it, the people will say “Driver, what is the problem. What is happening between you and this girl?”
The driver will say: “Ah” and maybe that driver happens to be a Yoruba man. Yorubas are majority in the transport system here.
He will say: “Ah, Oga no vex o. The time wey the girl come. I dy go Choba……
The dignitaries will say: ” Hey, wait, wait, ladies before gentlemen. Let the girl speak first”
The dignitaries will say “Ya! Baby, what happened?”
You see these girls, they always cry with what we call “Uncompletable tears and statements”
Their statements will not be complete and their tears will be as if they have been beaten for a long time.
Before you know it, she will say: “Good day sir, I entered this taxi heading to Choba and I asked this driver how much do you carry at the back. Before I know it, oh Jesus!!!!!” And she will start crying.
The driver will say “Oga, make I talk the one wey happen o” but the dignitaries will not listen.
He will say: “Do you know that this girl you see here can be a mother tomorrow? Do you know that these are the future mothers of tomorrow and you are insulting her?”
The driver will say: “Oga, make I talk the one wey happen……”
You will hear: “My friend, keep quiet. You want me to imprison you? Do you know the gravity of offence you just committed? How can you look at a little girl like this and……”
“Ha, Oga, wetin I do o. I no do anything o. Ah! From Osun state wey me I come here come dy drive taxi o. Everybody know say me I no dy find trouble o.”
Before you know it, the driver is arrested and taken to the police station because he doesn’t have the three qualities of being a commercial driver.
To be continued….
Ada Bros is a Port Harcourt based commercial driver. You will read his take on drivers and their passengers every weekend on theportcitynews.com.
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